


although i wasn't losing my mind (it was a chorus so sublime)

by littlelamplight



Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Genre: Based on the Softbroom Ep, F/F, The Trio - Freeform, also Hecate and Mildred and Pippa brotp, speculation kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 12:04:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13833921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelamplight/pseuds/littlelamplight
Summary: A personality changing potion is all fun and games, until it isn't, as Pippa learns, when Mildred turns up in her office, and asks her to save Hecate.From herself.





	although i wasn't losing my mind (it was a chorus so sublime)

~~~~

‘What do you mean Hecate freed Agatha?’ Pippa can hear the disbelief in her own voice, even as she stares at Mildred, clearly worried and anxious and there, thanks to Miss Cackle, right in the middle of her office.

Mildred gnaws at her lip. ‘I know it seems crazy, but its not… not really her’.

‘What do you mean?’

Mildred hesitates. 'She... She accidentally took a personality changing potion. It was meant to make her more fun'.

Dread crawls up her spine, and she can hear the horror in her own voice when she says, 'a personality changing potion? But that... the consequences... the _risks_...'

Hecate would never take those risks. Surely she would've done something to stop it, when she realised what had happened.

Mildred nods, like she understands some of what Pippa isn't saying. 'It was fun at first. She was fun. But she got... bored'.

Pippa can't stop herself from covering her face with her hands, trying to breathe through the fear clogging her throat. 'Oh, Hecate...'

'She got bored of teaching, because it wasn't fun. Of the rules, because they weren't fun'. Mildred sounds troubled, and Pippa wants to comfort her, but all she can think about is Hecate being forced to betray everything she stands for by her own body. 'Miss Cackle tried to make her go to her classes, and she... she didn't want to. Because it wasn't fun'.

Pippa groans. 'And so she released Agatha'.

'I don't think she wants to hurt anyone'. Mildred sounds so earnest that it makes her eyes sting. 'She wouldn't do that'.

Pippa drops her hands, and manages a watery smile. 'No, she wouldn't. The potion is just... it's forcing her to find constant sources of entertainment'.

Mildred shifts, her brows drawn together and inclined up with worry. 'What's going to happen to her?'

Pippa closes her eyes, her fingers curling around the edges of her desk. 'Well, nothing, because we'll stop it'.

'But if we don't?'

Pippa sighs. Mildred has always reminded her of Hecate, and this, the way she presses, the way she won't let her concerns be pushed away by elders who think they know better, is just like her. 'If we don't... right now, the potion is forcing her to care about nothing but fun. And she won't care about anything else. She'll do... anything to stay entertained, regardless of her own wellbeing. Or... or anyone else's'.

Mildred takes a deep breath, and says, 'so we go back'.

Pippa stares at her. 'What?'

'We go back. We stop it. Make her remember who she is'. Mildred sounds fiercely determined, her eyes bright and oddly angry, and Pippa frowns slightly.

'Mildred?'

Mildred swallows, and looks down at her hands. 'I just... when I heard what had happened... it didn't feel right. My Mum always says you should never pretend to be somebody else. And HB... she didn't even choose it'.

For a moment, Pippa thinks she might cry. She swallows down the lump rising in her throat, and croaks, 'you're a very special girl, Mildred'.

Mildred fidgets under the praise, praise that she's probably not used to, and looks up at her. 'Will you let me help?'

Pippa hesitates. She really shouldn't. She should leave Mildred here, call for help, and wait. She shouldn't even go alone.

But she knows the consequences of waiting. Knows that Hecate is being forced to do things she doesn't want to, knows that the longer they wait the more unstable the spell will become, the more danger she could do.

And she wants to save Hecate from scrutiny from the outside world, from people who will judge her.

And so, she takes a deep breath, and says, 'alright. But I need you to do exactly what I say, when I say it. Can you do that?'

Mildred nods quickly.

'Well, then. Let’s go save the day, shall we?'

~ ~ ~

It's quieter than she expected.

She expected, or at least anticipated, noises. Music, fireworks, explosions even. But it's oddly still as she walks the short way to the hall, where her locator spell told her Hecate was, and she doesn't know whether it's a good sign or not.

It makes her uneasy.

This whole situation makes her uneasy. She doesn't know this Hecate. This isn't Hecate, and she's not too proud to say that it frightens her.

But she has to be brave. She has to be brave for Hecate, for her Hecate, whose smiles are softer than any a spell could cast up, who feels so deeply that this must be hurting her more than she can bare.

Who she loves.

Pippa rounds the corner into the hall, and gapes.

The dinner hall is a mess. The tables have been overturned, and the floors and walls are covered in food. Colourful strings float between the walls, and things that look like feathers, witches hats spinning like tops in the air and spell books flapping around like birds.

And lying on the teachers’ table, twirling her finger around in a slow circle, is Hecate.

Even from this angle, where she can only see the woman’s profile, outlined by a cloud of dark hair, Hecate looks different. She couldn’t say exactly what it is, but the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Maybe it’s the woman’s magic, tainted by the potion that changed her, but Pippa has to pause to take a deep breath before she’s able to speak.

‘Hecate?’

Hecate turns her head, and her expression lights up. 'Pippa!'

Hecate jumps off the table, and Pippa barely has time to blink before the woman is hugging her. Her embrace is tight and warm and confident, her hair tickling her nose, and Pippa has to fight every cell in her body to resist sinking into it. Instead, she pats Hecate's back, and says, 'what have you been getting up to, Hiccup?'

Hecate pulls back, her smile too bright and too wide, and gestures at the mess of a hall. 'Oh, this? I started a food fight'.

Pippa laughs incredulously. 'A food fight?'

'They're fun!' Her eyes flash, a coil of green smoke flickering in her irises, and she raised her hands high in an over exaggerated shrug. 'We had fun'.

Pippa swallows, trying not to let her uneasiness show. ‘Hecate… what happened here? I heard… I heard that you released Agatha’.

Hecate blinks, and grins widely. ‘Oh, I did! I thought she’d be some fun’.

‘Fun… Hecate… last time she almost destroyed this school’.

Hecate shrugs. ‘Well, there’s nothing wrong with a little chaos, is there? It’s fun’.

The way she says the word grates a little, and Pippa takes a deep breath, glancing around the room, wondering if she should be alert for Agatha’s presence. ‘So… where is she now?’

Hecate clicks her tongue, and waves her hand. Something whizes across the room, and Hecate catches a small orb in her hand, and extends it towards her to look at. ‘In here’.

Pippa peers at the ball, narrowing her eyes to squint without her glasses. There is a tiny figure inside the ball, and she gapes. ‘Wait… that’s Agatha?’

Hecate laughs delightedly. ‘Yes. Wait, listen’. She shakes the ball, and a stream of high pitched squeaks emits from the ball in her hand. She sniggers. ‘Isn’t that fun?’

Pippa feels like she’s getting whiplash from this new information, from Hecate’s strangely twisting moods, and watches with her jaw unhinged as Hecate flicks her fingers and sends the ball bouncing around the ceiling again. Pippa frowns. ‘Hecate… Hecate, you’re not yourself’.

Hecate stars at her, her eyes a little too wide and wild, with her hair tumbling down around her face. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You’ve taken a personality changing potion’. She steps closer, her hands extended and her fingers splayed down, wary of startling her, of setting off something unpredictable. ‘Can’t you tell? Hiccup… this isn’t like you. You have to know that’.

'But it's fun'. Hecate stares at her, and her bright smile slips. She blinks, her gaze becoming unfocused, and repeats slowly, 'its... fun'.

Pippa steps a little closer, her heart beating hard. 'Hecate? Are you alright?'

Hecate's brow furrows tightly. 'Fun. I want to _help me_ have fun'.

Pippa jolts, like a hand has slapped her across the face, at the moment of raw fear in Hecate's eyes, the pitch of terror in her voice, and her eyes sting. 'Hecate -'

'Quiet', Hecate hisses, jerking her head sideways and lowering her voice, her eyes darting to the right like she's talking to someone else, 'you're no fun'.

Pippa steps closer, reaches out to touch her shoulder lightly, and says, 'Hecate, it's alright. I'm here, it's going to be -'

'Stop it _Pipsqueak_ you're hurting _help_ my head, it's no _please_ fun'. Hecate twists away from her, reaches up to twine her hands in her own hair, and snarls, 'go away'.

Pippa feels like someone is squeezing at her heart, it hurts so much, and she whispers, 'I'm right here, Hiccup. I'm going to fix it'.

Hecate lifts her head to stare at her, her eyes a little too wide, her stance too rigid even for her. 'Why do you want her back? She's no fun'.

'She's Hecate'. Pippa takes a deep breath, smoothing out her skirt anxiously. 'And she's -'

'She's boring. And mean. She pushed you away for no reason'. Hecate's lower lip juts. 'That's no fun'.

Pippa swallows tightly, trying to push down all the pain she still feels over those years of separation. 'She had a reason. She didn't think she was -'

'Fun? Because she wasn't'. Hecate beams again, and it almost makes Pippa wince.

She's seen Hecate smile, seen her really smile, and it's as beautiful as it is precious, and nothing like this, not forced and a little strained, like Hecate, the real Hecate, is fighting all the way.

'She loved you', Hecate says, abrupt and too loud, her fingers curling into fists by her sides, and her eyes are almost wild. 'That's why she left. Because she was no fun, and wasn't right. Wasn't enough'.

Pippa stares at her, her lips parting, and no sound comes out. She swallows tightly, trying to speak past the sudden lump in her throat, and whispers, 'she... loved me?'

'Loved, loves, same thing'. Hecate shrugs, clicks her tongue and shrugs her shoulders. 'Love can be fun. It should be fun. But you know her. Too herself to let herself enjoy anything'. She makes a face. 'How boring'.

Pippa feels an odd flare of anger towards this Hecate who is not Hecate, who speaks so cruelly of herself. 'Well I love her'.

Hecate blinks. The green smoke flickers in her irises, swells to something sharp. 'Even though she's boring and dull and left you behind?'

'She's not boring', she snaps, stepping forward with her hands balled into fists. 'She's Hecate. She's fiercely intelligent and kind and she cares so much even if she tries not to show it'.

Hecate's eyes glaze over, and she says slowly, 'you can't have fun if you care'.

Pippa steps closer. 'Yes you can. We used to have fun, and Hecate always cared. I care'.

Hecate looks at her, and there is an odd green tinge to her skin. 'We could have fun now', she says, and for the first time, she sounds hesitant. 'I'm... better, like this. I'm better than her. I won't run. We could have fun, again'.

Pippa reaches up, and cups Hecate's face in her hands. She strokes the pads of her thumbs over Hecate's high cheekbones, and says softly, 'I don't want fun. I just want Hecate. The real one'.

Hecate blinks, and mumbles, 'but she's no fun'.

'She is to me'. Pippa manages a small smile. 'I have fun whenever I'm with her, because I enjoy spending time with her. That's more fun than any of this'.

Hecate looks thrown. 'It is?'

'Of course'. Pippa tries to smile brighter, but there is an ache between her ribs. She sighs, and murmurs, 'do you want me to have fun?'

Hecate nods vigorously. 'Of course! I love you'.

Pippa swallows tightly. It's hard to hear those words from this Hecate, who isn't really Hecate, and yet in her own way, probably does love her. 'Then will you let me fix this? So I can have fun?'

Hecate is silent for a moment, gnawing on her lower lip, and Pippa holds her breath, her heart beating hard.

She doesn’t want to force this, doesn’t want to cause Hecate any distress, doesn’t want to do anything that might lead to her doing something dangerous, and so it’s a huge relief when the woman finally nods, and says, ‘alright’.

Pippa breathes a soft, sigh, and leans in to kiss Hecate’s cheek. ‘Thank you’.

~ ~ ~

They appear in the potions lab, hand in hand, and Pippa can feel Hecate’s palm sweating against her own, can feel the odd, unnatural heat radiating from her, and tries not to let it worry her.

She doesn’t know if its a sign that Hecate is fighting the impulse to run, to pull away, and she squeezes, hoping to reassure which ever part of her wants to be here.

Mildred looks up from the cauldron, a smudge of soot on her nose, and Pippa catches sight of three tiny children before they duck down behind one of the benches. ‘Miss Pentangle?’ Mildred says, her eyes fixed a little warily on Hecate. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Hecate will take the cure, Mildred. Is it ready?’

Mildred hesitates, her bottom lip catching between her teeth, insecurity gleaming behind her eyes. ‘I… I did what you said. I got everyone who made the potion to help me make the cure, but...'

‘But?’

Mildred swallows. ‘What if I’ve messed it up?'

Pippa opens her mouth, and Hecate tsks. ‘You see, Pippa? See that insecurity? Whose fault do you think that is?’

‘Hecate, now is not -’

Hecate pulls her hand from her own, steps up to Mildred, and leans over to stare her straight in the eye. ‘Now, you listen to me, Mildred Hubble. You are an incredibly talented and powerful witch’.

Mildred’s jaw unhinges. Three pairs of eyes peek out from behind a desk. Hecate reaches out to tap Mildred under the chin, and the girl shuts her mouth with a snap. ‘You don’t really think that’.

‘’Course I do’. Hecate flips her hair over her shoulder, and Pippa steps forward, anxious about leaving this for too long. ‘She just never said so because she’s obsessed with control, which you don’t have’. She smiles, and for the first time, it's not that strange, unnatural, too wide smile. It's an almost fond thing. ‘But, a little chaos can be fun, sometimes’.

Pippa places her hands on Hecate’s shoulders, just incase. Mildred stares up at Hecate for a moment, and then lifts the ladle. ‘Here. It’ll turn you back to normal’.

Hecate’s eyebrows shoot skywards, green smoke flickering in her eyes. ‘You really want her back?’

Mildred nods firmly. ‘I do. No offence, but I like the old HB better’.

Hecate blinks rapidly, turning her head to glance at Pippa. Pippa smiles softly, reassuringly, giving her shoulders a squeeze, and Hecate turns back to face Mildred. There is a pause, and then she takes the ladle from Mildred, and Pippa holds her breath. Hecate stares at the pale blue potion, and her eyes flick up to meet Mildred’s again. She grins. ‘I’ll tell you a secret, Mildred Hubble’. She winks. ’She likes you, too’.

She lifts the ladle to her lips, and Pippa lets out a long, shaky breath when the potion finally passes her lips. She gives Hecate’s shoulders another squeeze, and then smiles softly at Mildred. ‘Thank you, Mildred. Would you take your friends and find Miss Cackle, please? Tell her that things have been… sorted, and that I’m going to stay with Hecate in her quarters until the potions effects have worn off’.

Mildred nods, and says quietly, ‘she’ll be alright, won’t she?’

‘She will’. She’s too focused on the inevitable fallout now to go further into it, but she manages to summon her most reassuring smile. She gathers her magic to transfer, only to pause, and say, ‘oh and, please tell Miss Cackle that she’ll find her sister bouncing around the hall in a hamster ball’.

Hecate giggles.

Pippa transfers them with a wave of her hand, and then steers Hecate to sit down on her bed. Hecate looks around her own room with a faint look of distaste. ‘It’s so… dull’.

Pippa spares a brief glance around the room, warm and cozy and surprisingly comfortable looking, smiling slightly at the sight of numerous books and diagrams of different potion ingredients, and says, ‘oh, I don’t know. I quite like it’.

Hecate cross her legs, facing her with an expectant look, and Pippa mirrors her position. Morgana jumps up with a soft yowl, and settles into the space between them with a happy purr. Hecate lifts a hand to stroke her fingers through her cat’s fur, and Pippa takes it as a good sign that the animal doesn’t hiss at her mistress. ‘Now what?’

Pippa shifts a little closer, reaching out, and Hecate takes her extended hand quickly. ‘We wait’.

The seconds tick by, and gradually, the unnatural warmth of Hecate’s hand dwindles. She blinks, and Pippa doesn’t see any green glow to her eyes.

She does see the exact moment the potion’s effects wear off. The exact moment everything comes crashing down.

Hecate goes rigid, her eyes widening in horror, and Pippa squeezes her hand tightly to stop her from pulling away. ‘Hecate’, she says slowly, softly, trying to stop the panic before it sets in, ‘it's alright’.

Hecate doesn’t seem to be breathing properly. Her chest is too still and her eyes are too wide, and Pippa shuffles closer, scooting around the cat, and takes Hecate’s face in her hands. ‘Hecate’, she repeats, ‘it’s alright’.

’No’, Hecate’s chest caves in, and she screws her eyes shut, reaching up to grasp at her wrists, but she doesn’t push her away, ‘no, it’s not’.

Pippa makes a soft, soothing noise, stroking her thumbs over Hecate’s cheekbones, and whispers, ‘it's over, Hiccup. And it wasn't your fault’.

Hecate shakes her head, her knuckles turning white where she grips her wrists. ‘I should've… it was obvious what… what was happening. I should've done something to stop it’.

‘You couldn't. You know how that spell works. You were… compelled to not want to’. Pippa yearns to make this better, even though she doesn't know what to do, yearns to take away the pain she can see in Hecate’s face. ‘You did nothing wrong’.

‘I put everyone in danger. I… and I wanted to’. Hecate sounds terribly young, but her voice is dark with a tinge of deep self hatred. ‘I wanted to do all those things. I didn't care about anything else’.

'Now you listen to me, Hecate Hardbroom'. Pippa shifts closer until she can duck her head and meet Hecate's eyes. 'You are the kindest, gentlest person I know. The spell made you want to do those things. It wasn't you. You do not deserve how harshly you treat yourself’.

'But I -‘

'You were under the influence of a personality changing potion, and you know better than anyone else the consequences of spells like that'. She rises up, presses their foreheads together, and says fiercely, 'none of it was your fault, and the only victim here is you’.

Hecate whimpers. ‘I put the whole school at risk. I released Agatha'.

'And promptly shrunk her down to the size of a mouse and stuck her in a hamster ball'. Pippa presses closer, nudges her nose against her cheek. 'You wanted fun, not danger'.

'Fun', Hecate chokes, shuddering as if the word physically pains her, 'even that version of me wasn't fun'.

'That version of you wasn't you, Hecate. You are fun. You are the best witch - the best person - I know'.

'Pippa -'

'And I love you. Not that version of you, not some ideal version you think I deserve, not some better version of you that doesn't exist. You’. She gentles her voice, lets all the love and affection and belief she has in Hecate leak into her voice. ‘Just you’.

Hecate whines, and mumbles, ‘how can you?’

Pippa chuckles softly, shaking her head, and murmurs, ‘oh, Hiccup, so, so easily’.

Hecate shivers, and whispers, ‘I… I thought… I thought you weren’t… that I wasn’t…'

Pippa kisses her.

It’s soft and sweet and everything that experience wasn’t for Hecate, and Hecate clutches at her wrists and kisses her back, and she tastes like salt and witches tea.

When Pippa pulls away, she snakes her hand into Hecate’s thick, silky hair, cups the back of her head, and pulls her into her arms. Hecate presses her face against her shoulder, and whispers, ‘I… I’ve thought about that for so… for so long’.

‘So have I’.

‘I’m just sorry it had to happen like this’.

Pippa shrugs one shoulder. ‘I’m not. It gave me an excuse to talk about how wonderful you are’.

Despite everything, Hecate snorts, a dry, but amused sound, and Pippa considers it the greatest victory today. She rubs her hand up and down her back, stroking her fingers through her hair, and murmurs, ‘I do like your hair like this’.

Hecate sighs, and nuzzles into her shoulder. ‘I… I like how that feels’.

Pippa shifts, stretching out on the bed and holding Hecate close against her chest, her fingers still movie through soft strands. ‘We can just lie here for a while, if you like’.

Hecate sighs heavily. ‘I should face my actions sooner or later’.

‘No one blames you for what happened, Hecate’. She presses a soft kiss to Hecate’s forehead, aware of the dampness against her neck. ‘But later is a viable option’.

Hecate seems to hesitate. But Pippa continues to stroke her hair, whispering nonsense words of reassurance, and she sags into the mattress. ‘Later, then’.

Pippa closes her eyes, and by concentrating on her breathing, and the warm weight of Hecate lying half on top of her, lets the tension of the day leak from her body. She smiles softly, and it would be wonderfully easy to drift off like this. Wonderfully easy to sleep, with Hecate in her arms.

‘Pipsqueak?’

‘Mmm?’

‘I… thank you. For coming to save me’. She can feel Hecate’s lips brushing against her neck. Feels the deep breath she takes, and the warm of it as she exhales. ‘I… I love you’.

Pippa smiles.

‘I love you too, Hiccup’.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Not the first worst witch fic I thought I'd be posting, but it won't be the last either! 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this! I was trying to think of where they could go, in terms of why they need to bring the old Hecate back, and I kinda liked this idea.


End file.
